What’s the difference between someone who’s led around by the nose and someone who does the leading?
In Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), we learn about the Law of Prerequisite Variety: the element in any system that has the most flexibility will end up leading the system.
Think of little children, they have incredible flexibility. To get you to do something, they’ll tease, cajole, beg, lie, cry, laugh, use logic, use emotion, jump up and down, be adorable, be funny, and they’ll keep doing it until they get what they want.
Adults seem to have 2 or 3 patterns they keep coming back to 😛
In the 1970s, Richard Bandler and John Grinder set out to answer the questions: ‘how do wildly successful people create their success?’ and ‘can these methods of success be replicated?’.‘can these methods of success be replicated?’.
They studied the best therapists of their time, and through observation, testing and trail and error, codified what they found into sets of prinicples and techniques. When they taught and used these strategies and found that they could reproduce the success these therapists had, they knew they were on to something.
Throughout history, NLPers have been hunted down by the Evil League of Anti-NLPers, who have waved the Torches of deBunk (+2 agility) at us and angrily shouted big, big words like ‘pesudo-science’, ‘quackery’ and ‘you’re too hot for NLP’ (I get this one all the time).
For every claim for NLP, you can find one against. What’s going on?
Had enough rolling your mind over the Pygmalion effect? Because the next NLP presupposition ties in nicely with it:
Everyone already has all the resources they need or the ability to get them
which also complements nicely the presupposition that people are not broken.
Neuro-Linguistic Programming believes that experience has a structure, and that structure is composed out of 5 senses: visual, auditory, kinesthetic, olfactory or gustatory. And if every experience is composed out of these same building blocks, so is every state or resource.
The next NLP presupposition is a pretty integral one to making things work with Neuro-Linguistic Programming:
Experience has a structure
Neuro-Linguistic Programming believes that experience has a structure, and that structure is composed out of 5 senses: visual, auditory, kinesthetic, olfactory or gustatory. And because every experience is composed out of these same building blocks, so is every state, habit, skill or resource.
Something came to me so obviously connected with the NLP 101: You Cannot Not Communicate post that I regret not putting it up.
Have you ever heard of the Pygmalion effect? It refers to situations in which people perform better than other people simply because they are expected to do so.
In a study conducted by Robert Rosenthal, teachers of students were told that certain students were more gifted than others, when in fact, they were just students that were randomly selected. The amazing thing is, compared to an IQ test they took at the beginning of the year, and the same test at the end of the year, those randomly selected students showed more improvement than the other students!
In Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), we believe that people are not broken, and they work perfectly.
For example, a phobia is normally considered a ‘bad’ thing, someone who has an irrational phobia of envelopes is considered ‘broken’.
But the phobia works perfectly, there is never an instance when the phobia doesn’t work. If you have a phobia, it doesn’t break down one day and come back the next. The person above wouldn’t hold an envelope for 5 minutes normally, and then suddenly remember to scream!
If I told you that one of the key presuppositions in Neuro-Linguistic Programming was:
People are always making the best choices they have
you might think I was off my rocker.
“Alvin,” you might say, “what about people who abuse their bodies with drugs and alcohol, take it out on their kids, and listen to euro-trance? You can’t say those are the best choices anyone can make!”
The obvious follow-up to a post like The Meaning of Your Communication is The Response You Get is this next Neuro-Linguistic Programming presupposition:
You Cannot Not Communicate
We’re all always communicating, even when we don’t mean to or want to. Remember when I wrote that words only form 7% or so of our communication, the rest is 38% tonality and 55% body language? You might be pretty slick with your wordplay, but how aware are you of your tonalities and body language?
Continuing with the NLP 101 series, we come to the next presupposition:
There is No Failure Only Feedback (I prefer to say Learning Experience)
In NLP we say there is no such thing as success, failure, happiness, depression, good taste (accounts for euro-trance). Not that people don’t feel these things, but that they’re convenient labels we tack on things. Your subjective experience of happiness is quite different from mine.
The most basic and essential parts of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) are the presuppositions.
Think of the NLP presuppositions as the guiding principles or beliefs holding the NLP model up, like how a programming language maintains an entire computer operating system. Without the programming language, you can’t build the operating system and it collapses. But if you use the coding principles, your ability to create is limitless.
Hold the press! Extra Special Definition for the Super Hardcore NLPers!
For the non-hardcore NLPers (I know you’re out there), take a chance. Read on, and see what new thoughts and ideas emerge, and tell me if you think I’m the greatest genius since Da Vinci or talking smack. Don’t look for me if your head explodes.
For the non-NLPers amongst us, you don’t have to read this, as I go a little more in-depth into the territory and you need some prior experience, and it’s not exactly life coaching stuff.
Throughout history; men and women have sought the answer to the question: what is NLP? who is NLP? when is NLP? is NLP better than sex?
In these next few posts, I shall reveal the ancient secrets as they were exclusively given to me in a top secret location by a Very NLP Person (VNLPP). While you’ll notice my slightly flippant take on the subject, you’ll also hopefully find some useful gems along the way.
I’ve been an NLP junkie for 10 years now, becoming a practitioner at the tender age of 16 to a master practitioner a couple of years ago. In between I’ve devoured whatever NLP books, audio programs, and videos I could get my greedy hands on.
When was the last time you decide that you have to change something about or around you? How did you decide to change?
There were something that you decided at a certain point that you want to do more of, to have less of, to move away from, to go towards to…you decided that you deserve more, you are going to stay away from…you are sick of it, you are tired, fed up, irritated, frustrated, peeved, and what else not!?
Now that you’ve discovered how you can be empowered as easily as you can find yourself speaking the mantras that you choose. I wonder if you have installed some powerful stuff for yourself?
Some of you may ask whether this a form of self-deceit? Let’s be honest here, when was the last time a belief, an attitude that you hold or a faith that you keep limit you from feeling or doing good? Are those absolute truths like the sun will rise from the east and set the west? Uh huh…I didn’t think so too. (more…)
As promised, I will be focusing on How you can deal with “Precursors of Failure” patterns in this post. Some simple strategies.
1) Threshold blow-out
What I mean by threshold blow-out is to exaggerate your pattern to the extent that it becomes ridiculous. You will know you have done it when you find yourself laughing at what you are doing, behaving like an idiot or when someone comes up to you and ask “What are you doing?!” (For those who knows NLP, yes, this is a pattern interrupt)
OK people, besides this being a catchy headline, it’s a way of life…living it anyway. I’ve no idea who to credit for purporting this concept in the very first place and the collective consciousness is kind and will reward such genius!!
Consider how much negativity is out there. Have you considered the pervasiveness of Murphy’s Law in our day-to-day dealings with the world in general? Does it make sense that everything that can go wrong, will? I enjoy lots of Murphy’s Laws and the tongue-in-cheek nature of them all. However, most they are just too fatalistic to my liking.