Now, if I had a special someone to celebrate it with (I don’t…volunteers anyone?), I’d know what I want to do for her on Valentine’s. I’ve always believed that the greatest gift you can give someone isn’t something from a paper bag, it’s something from the heart. Something that really touches someone at the core of who they are, not just on a material level (which is nice too…expensive gifts for me, anyone?). (more…)
Oops…apologies again for being late! Been out late again 😉
Yesterday was an interesting day. I got to make a new friend recently and last night we went out for the first time. It was a new opportunity to make a friend and I’m really grateful for that, especially since one of my goals this year is to widen my social circle.
Yay, goal accomplishing! 🙂
What about you? What’s one goal or direction in your life that you’re grateful to have accomplished?
I apologize for being 2 hours, 40 minutes behind on the 5th day of gratitude…I’ve been out til late 😉
It was my friend Gabriel’s birthday earlier this week, and I met him today for some coffee and to pass him his birthday gift (one of my favorite books; Veronika Decides to Die). We had a nice chat, had dinner with his girlfriend and friends, and decided to go play LAN games afterwards (DOTA Allstars on Frozen Throne, one of my all-time favorites!). (more…)
Today is my brother’s birthday, and since I was staying at home, I got to watch my home lovingly prepare a wonderful dinner and cake for him.
I really love my mom.
She works so hard to take care of everything in the house so that the rest of us can do what we do. I don’t care what anyone else says, being a homemaker is as tough a job, and as important a job as they come, and it deserves the ultimate respect.
I’m very grateful to have such a loving person in my life. Today I’m grateful for my mom.
So today’s coach’s challenge to you is this, who is one person that you’re absolutely grateful to have in your life?
This may a little bit deviate from Alvinâ€™s theme on Gratitude. At the same time, from another angle itâ€™s really related because you should be gratified of all the challenges that are coming into your life.
And thatâ€™s reason why you should be comfortable coming out of your comfort zone.
If you remember the earlier post by Alvin on stretching, yes, stretching will get your comfort zone bigger and you should be comfortable with getting the stretch. (more…)
This 7 Days of Gratitude is going places I never imagined.
I’m typing this as it just happened, a few minutes ago. I was on my way home from the neighbourhood gym when I saw a downed motorcycle at the traffic light. I saw a few people rush over to help and so did I, and when I helped lift the motorcycle up I saw her: a little girl of 8 had been hit and was lying crying on the ground.
The men helped carry her over to the side of the road while I called for an ambulance. I noticed, however, that her mom wasn’t showing the usual high levels of distress or anxiety I’d expect…nevertheless, I made the call, and told her about it.
As I was having lunch I bumped into a good friend of mine who happened to be in the area, totally unexpected and out of the blue! It was a good chance meeting, and we had lunch together with his colleague, and afterwards they taught me how to buy the lottery, which I was intending to do but had no idea how (I normally don’t, but it’s a $10 million special draw for the Lunar New Year so I thought why not, keep my fingers crossed!).
On the 7 Days of Gratitude Challenge, I wonder if I could cheat a little and start yesterday, because I had such a wonderful day.
My friends and I were meeting at the beach for a nice group dinner, but a couple decided to meet earlier for a seaside jog. I’m not that keen into running, but I love cycling, and volunteered to carry their bags on my bike.
The weather was beautiful. All perfect for an afternoon jog. As the sun went down, I cycled onto a pier and watched the sea, and felt the cool breeze against my skin. I breathed in deep, and felt good to be alive.
Everyone will agree that a positive attitude is one that is essential for peak performance living. One of the key parts to a positive attitude that I outlined in 9 Keys to Overcoming Difficult Times is an attitude that allows us to acknowledge what is already going well in our lives and appreciate them for their value. I’m talking of course, about the attitude of gratitude.
Lately, I’ve had to deal with a lot of changes happening in my personal life. At first, describing them to my friends, I kept calling them endings, but afterward I began to feel as if it was a process of renewal. There is a Chinese saying that goes ‘if the old doesn’t go, the new cannot come’. Keeping that in mind, I’ve begun to view these difficult events as a shedding of things for me to grow forward, and so I’ve come to call them ‘changes’ instead of ‘endings’.
Difficult as it may, I know a friend who is also going through some tough changes of his own. This post is really for him because I want to share with him some tools I’ve found to be useful for me in managing my emotional state to navigate through the difficult times. I’m prone to worry and depression myself so I’ve had to learn how to pull myself through, and the beliefs and techniques from NLP and Solutions Focused Brief Therapy have helped tremendously.
It’s been a month since I came back from my Cambodia expedition. But I can still see the smiles of the children vividly and hear them laughing heartily in my ears. Oh gosh, I do miss them a lot.
The smiles they wear on their faces are so different from what I see back here where I lived. It’s not the kind of smile you see from a colleague from another department along the corridor nor is it the kind of smile you get from a distant relative at a family gathering. They are smiles that warm your heart, smiles that brighten your days and smiles that you want to see again and again. (more…)
When was the last time you decide that you have to change something about or around you? How did you decide to change?
There were something that you decided at a certain point that you want to do more of, to have less of, to move away from, to go towards to…you decided that you deserve more, you are going to stay away from…you are sick of it, you are tired, fed up, irritated, frustrated, peeved, and what else not!?
The single most important principle I’ve learnt that has changed my life more than anything else is the principle of stretching:
Stretching is the act of doing something that you know is good for you and/or good for others and it scares you.
Imagine yourself at the centre of a circle. The edge of the circle is the edge of your comfort zone. It is everything that you know and are comfortable dealing with. Once in a while you might encounter an anomaly that hits the edge of your comfort zone, if it’s a little thing you expand to include it. (more…)
Since we’re nearing the new year I’m sure many of us will be taking this chance to reflect on the year past and renew on the year ahead. I thought this would be a nice time to make a distinction between setting goals, and setting directions.
What is a goal? Simply put, a goal is a target you set that is:
What do I mean when I said “Don’t say what you mean”
What I mean is “Say What You Want!!!”
One of my friends made major purchase as a present for himself (e.g. new shirts, watches, etc.) after series of hard work to achieve certain goals. Listen to how my friend response to his friend comment’s
His friend comment: “Wohh.. You got a lot of money and really rich Huh.” (With sarcastic tonality)
He responded: “Oh… no no no lah… I just …” (With shy tonality) (more…)
I visit China regularly, and my recent trip teach me something that I would like to share with you, it’s a “Hand Pump”
Have you use such the pump before? “I have never seen one in Singapore”. You might say. Yes, because this type of pump is only constructed in the location where drought is common. And Singapore is not known for drought area, anyway there is pipe water in Singapore. â€¦
If this isn’t the first time you’ve visited our site (thank you!) you might notice a few more changes besides the adorable Boogie Santa (our Christmas mascot!) mentioned in the last post.
If this is the first time you’re visiting, I’m talking about the increase in the number of ads that are currently showing on-site. Making money from online advertising is something I’ve been wondering about since I started reading about pro-blogging and the amounts that the bigger professional blogger sites can pull in…how do they do it? Starting and running the Life Coaches Blog is part of the test and measure to find out how this model works. (more…)
Yay! Sold off 2 batches of the old books I’ve been clearing out and made $106 SGD over the weekend. Like the earlier $35 I made from the 1st batch, I attribute this deal to the Million Dollar Experiment, as it was the intention that made me insist on auctioning them off instead of simply thrashing them or even giving them away.
So that brings my running total to $141 SGD ($84.63 USD) in 42 days of the Million Dollar Experiment. Not bad!
David Seah has a hilarious post over at his blog, ‘Thinking Negative’ that’s giving me some ideas on how to write my future posts:
“No no no, that’s not how it works.” the ghost said impatiently. “If you’d had any real talent, it would have manifested itself—at the latest—by your 21st birthday. Too bad you didn’t do more work in high school and college…that might have made up for your dearth of talent, and you could have gone to a really good grad school. Then you might have had a shot. But no…I want to find my passion…” The ghost minced around in a circle, hands waving in mock panic. “I need to know my purpose in life! I’m a maverick! I’m a lone wolf!” (more…)
In some LGAT (Large Group Awareness Training) and indeed in many coaching methodology, the word TRY is somewhat like a banned word. Many like to quote the green guru of 800 years old of the Star Wars fame:
“Do, or do not. There is no TRY!”
Yoda said it right.
The argument is that TRY presupposes the possibility of failing. Many organizations have already dropped “trial and error” to put in place “test and measure” for the same reason.
Yesterday morning as I was heading out I felt uneasy doing the Million Dollar Intention. I think the stress I had been feeling from work had worked itself into my morning and interfered with the usual feeling of relaxed focus I get into while doing the intention*.
I was wondering what was missing, and it hit me. The last couple of days before I had been brooding over what I wanted more of in my life, and I realized it was love and happiness. Was this uneasy feeling a message from my unconscious that my intention for manifesting was incomplete? So in the Million Dollar Intention I slotted in an extra intention (in bold):
Yesterday came and went, and without realizing it in yesterday’s ‘My little amendment to the Million Dollar Experiment’ post, it was also the 30th day goal of our unofficial local chapter of The Million Dollar Experiment!
For those who have publicly joined us, Pete, Brenda, Yezhong (who is overseas on a volunteer mission), June, Mikki, Bernie, Adrian and Janet, how has the last 30 days (less for some of you) been? For myself, as I wrote earlier, I’ve made a total of SGD$35 (USD$20.72) so far from the Million Dollar Experiment from an unexpected impulse to sell my old books. (more…)
I just made my first SGD$35 (USD$20.72) from the Million Dollar Experiment! Yay!
I found a whole stack of books that I no longer wanted while clearing up my room last Sunday, so I put up an auction for them on the local Yahoo! Auctions. Within a week I had a winning bid and yesterday I sold the first batch of them off. (more…)
I wanted to write about Procrastination. You know, the big P word that people have blamed for everything and anything. So many people have written about it…the personal effectiveness people, the Getting-Things-Done camp, the procrastination busters and it makes me wonder if I can offer anything different. So I joined the union.
The Procrastinator United couldn’t take off as a collective force coz I saw the sign when I arrive:
These last couple of weeks have been very difficult for me, I’ve had to deal with work stress from long hours and tight deadlines, coupled with some personal issues that cropped up at the same time. Like the saying goes, it doesn’t seem to just rain, it pours!
To keep myself going, I kept using an old and simple technique of mine. Whenever I felt a negative emotion welling up, I just told myself:
I wanted to share what I read about emotional exhaustion in this post. But I realize I had to explain one important concept ie emotional labor before that. Labour requires putting in effort and from my readings, the performance of emotional labor can be executed mainly in the three following ways as proposed by Ashworth and Humphrey:
1) We fake the emotions that are required at the moment and we can do this by displaying behaviors that are correspondent with these emotions. Such behaviors include verbal and no verbal cues like regulation of our tonality and body language.
Now that you’ve discovered how you can be empowered as easily as you can find yourself speaking the mantras that you choose. I wonder if you have installed some powerful stuff for yourself?
Some of you may ask whether this a form of self-deceit? Let’s be honest here, when was the last time a belief, an attitude that you hold or a faith that you keep limit you from feeling or doing good? Are those absolute truths like the sun will rise from the east and set the west? Uh huh…I didn’t think so too. (more…)
As promised, I will be focusing on How you can deal with “Precursors of Failure” patterns in this post. Some simple strategies.
1) Threshold blow-out
What I mean by threshold blow-out is to exaggerate your pattern to the extent that it becomes ridiculous. You will know you have done it when you find yourself laughing at what you are doing, behaving like an idiot or when someone comes up to you and ask “What are you doing?!” (For those who knows NLP, yes, this is a pattern interrupt)
After I finished my intention session today, a few thoughts came to mind. I wondered why I was so curious about the Million Dollar Experiment, and after letting my train of thought traverse itself I remembered a few things I thought you might find interesting.
In 1993 a study was done in Washington, D.C., that assembled 4,000 meditation practitioners together for a 8 week period to practice in the city. During this 8 week period, the rate of violent crime in Washington, D.C. dropped by 23 percent.
Pete, Paiboon and I were talking about the Million Dollar Experiment over at Steve Pavlina’s Personal Development Blog At first I wasn’t too keen on giving it a go like Pete and Paiboon were, but on second thought, why not?
After all, those of you Patterns of Excellence grads and coaches have seen that our minds do influence the people and environment around us (I love you, monkey).
In a nutshell, the Million Dollar Experiment just needs you to set aside 60 seconds a day to think about this intention:
OK people, besides this being a catchy headline, it’s a way of life…living it anyway. I’ve no idea who to credit for purporting this concept in the very first place and the collective consciousness is kind and will reward such genius!!
Consider how much negativity is out there. Have you considered the pervasiveness of Murphy’s Law in our day-to-day dealings with the world in general? Does it make sense that everything that can go wrong, will? I enjoy lots of Murphy’s Laws and the tongue-in-cheek nature of them all. However, most they are just too fatalistic to my liking.
You do have a goal, donâ€™t you? At least one, Iâ€™m sure you have.
Achieve goals, or becoming a goal getter is very much like climbing a mountain, hike up bit by bit. Sometimes, you may feel insurmountable because it so steep, but sometimes you may discover that the slope is somewhere at the back of mountain.
If you were attend any of goal-setting workshop, NLP training or motivational seminar you may have heard about the story of â€œYale University Graduateâ€ in 1953. The story goes like this
I’m sure all of you have read “Introducing Boon Breakfast” and Personal Mantra by Pete
Yes, you can have permission to choose to feel anything you like. It’s your choice.
But before you make those choices, have you think about WHY you make those choices? Do you do ecology check before you make the choice?
Do you know what and why you are after?
Do you know where this path leads to is?
Is that the destination you want to go and why?
Do you know who is affected by these choices?
Alvin mentioned in an earlier post that motivation is a real-world process that has been turned into a thing through imprecise language. You don’t have the motivation, like a car or watch, you do motivation, which is an abstract idea (you can’t hold, see, or hear motivation physically).
motivation is a process which has to be carried out.
I know I’m making a VERY BOLD statement here, so am I just making an empty promise? Read on.
We all know that Success demands consistent hard work and seldom is achieved overnight. Hence, likewise, failure is not attained in a blink of the eyes. Usually, there is a sequence of events that precedes failure.
Realizing this fact now, what we can do first is to learn to avoid possible failures. How do you do it?
I haven’t gotten the book (yet) but I’ve been reading about Getting Things Done (GTD) by David Allen on the net. One little tip I picked up echoes this review of GTD “Fitter, happier, more productive” on Guardian Unlimited
I haven’t gotten the book (yet) but I’ve been reading about Getting Things Done (GTD) by David Allen on the net. One little tip I picked up echoes this review of GTD “Fitter, happier, more productive” on Guardian Unlimited: (more…)